Questions I Would Ask if I Joined the Military

  1. Do you tip the barber who gives you a buzz cut?
  2. What's the wifi situation?
  3. Is there a buddy system?
  4. When's the USO show?
    If Jeff Ross doesn't show up to roast people I'd question his patriotism
  5. Can we keep the camouflage after the war is over?
  6. Where are the poppy plants and Vietnamese hookers?
  7. Are you eligible for a Purple Heart if you get PTSD before you start training?
  8. Are there army / navy mixers?
  9. Is don't ask don't tell still a thing?