100% REAL STAR WARS EPISODE VII SPOILERS

These come from a VERY reputable source in Hollywood. Don't believe me too bad!!!!
  1. The first half of the movie is just an unedited shot of Luke Skywalker doing Tae Bo on VHS.
  2. Han Solo dies. I mean dyes. His hair. He dyes his hair.
  3. Billy Blanks (of Tae Bo fame) makes a cameo as a Tae Bo instructor from Naboo.
  4. One new Jedi character goes by the mysterious name "Tae Bo."
  5. Binks is back, baby! My source tells me Jar-Jar finally returns as a martial artist looking to combine tae kwan do with kickboxing.
  6. JJ Abrams is apparently considering a change to the film's title. The front runner is "Episode VII: Tae Bo Awakens"
  7. Yoda opens a Pinkberry franchise
  8. Can't wait to see this huge movie in December!!!