Kenneth Parcell died on Jack's balcony. He came back with a message from God that he has forgotten.
  1. There's a reason God gave us two ears and only one mouth. Listening is twice as important as talking. But he gave us ten fingers...He must really want us to poke things!
  2. I don't vote republican or democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name!
  3. Deer God, thank you for this venison. Onion God, thank you for these onions. Carrot God, thank you for these carrots.
  4. I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature.
  5. I've already sent about a hundred of these, even though licking an envelope is a sin. Unless you're married to it.
  6. So kiss.my.face!