BEST THINGS I HEARD THIS WEEK, VOL. I

  1. "And so, I now return home and freak out about this until morning. Because I am that kind of person."
    My friend from Sweden, thinking she may have misinterpreted our professor's instructions on an assignment due the following day.
  2. "And I think to myself, there must tiny ninjas in my house, because who else could be moving my toys to the living room?"
    My EIC, telling his earliest memory over dinner.
  3. "Happy Hour: 11-8."
    My neighbourhood bar, getting into the holiday spirit.
  4. "Do you watch Game of Thrones? Because I can see your roots coming in, and I have something I'd like to discuss with you."
    My EIC again, trying to convince me to try going back to blonde.
  5. "It's like you're pulling blood from a stone, but then you realize it's your own blood."
    My co-editor, talking about how to write passionately about a topic you hate.
  6. "Instead of giving 2.7 million to lemurs, you could be giving it to ME!"
    My best friend, in reaction to a rival city's plan to spend 2.7 million to bring lemurs to its zoo.
  7. "And so his kids are the same age as ours, but older."
    My friend (and new dad!) trying to explain how his friend's children are not the same age as his own children.