Scenario: I accomplish something incredibly heroic like discover that mold growing on 7 week old nearly empty beer cans can both cure ALS and is the active ingredient in affordable sea water desalinization... Every artist in the world makes themselves available for a week long festival in appreciation... of me.
  1. TQ Fest preparty: Röyksopp & Robyn at Empty Bottle
    Yea, I saw this exact same show in 2014 - but bring it into a small club that doesn't have a curfew.
  2. Sunday night dance party kickoff: M83, Cut Copy, Daft Punk at Concord Music Hall
    That "old man deck" behind the sound booth is my personal VIP area. M83 plays "Sitting" / Cut Copy plays "Sands of Time" / Daft Punk plays whatever they damn please.
  3. Monday brunch recovery: Swell Season live Once play-a-long at Chicago Theatre
    Glen and Mar play along to a screening of Once
  4. Monday night: Beach House, Peter Bjorn & John, Broken Social Scene at Lincoln Hall
    BSS featuring Leslie Feist, who joins PB&J during "Young Folks"
  5. Tuesday brunch recovery: Explosions in the Sky live Friday Night Lights play-a-long
    Introduced by Kyle Chandler & Connie Britton. (Minka Kelly seated next to me)
  6. Unannounced pop up show: Disclosure at Woodfield Mall
  7. Tuesday night: Phoenix, The Strokes, U2 at Beat Kitchen
    Bono sings "1901" and "Last Night"
  8. Wednesday brunch recovery: Chilly Gonzalez in the round at Thalia Hall (featuring Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, Kacey Musgraves, Carly Rae Jepsen, and more)
    The professor of pop music will take all to school.
  9. Unannounced pop up show: Moby at Harold Washington Library
  10. Wednesday night: Ben Folds Five, Arcade Fire, and Radiohead in Wicker Park
    Performing on a temporary stage in front of the fountain.
  11. Thursday brunch recovery: Zimmer, Horner, and Williams at Lyric Opera House
    Score! (I know James Horner is dead, so Hans and John conduct the Chicago Philharmonic in his place.)
  12. Unannounced pop up show: Fuck Buttons underground at Red Line / Blue Line transfer at Jackson stop.
  13. Thursday night: an evening with Björk at Holy Name Cathedral
    And bet your ass Thom Yorke joins her for "I've Seen It All"
  14. Friday brunch: Grizzly Bear at Mayne Stage
    Playing Veckatimest front to back.
  15. Friday Night: Savages, Franz Ferdinand, and Foals at Schubas
    Farewell show for Schubas. The place will be dust after its done.
  16. Saturday brunch: Rodrigo y Gabriela at Stan's Donuts
    This is my fantasy, so just go with it.
  17. Saturday night: The National, Delta Spirit, Foo Fighters, My Morning Jacket at Jay Pritzker Pavilion in Millennium Park
    Also held at Wrigley Field and US Cellular Parks (with bands helicoptered to other venues while others play???)
  18. After party: Kendrick Lamar, Kanye West, and The Roots at the Virgin Hotels rooftop.
    Watch the sunrise over the skyscrapers (also, Run The Jewels show up unannounced)
  19. TQ Fest cool down: Patrick Watson & Bon Iver at Hideout
    Well, one more before all go home
  20. Every day art exhibit: Dave Matthews Band plays on a boat under a Chicago River bridge as all other tour bands pass over it.
    Nothing happens. But boy is that band fearing the worst. In case you don't know: http://www.ew.com/article/2004/09/10/dave-matthews-tour-bus-dumps-sightseers
  21. Toby Keith will also play at Navy Pier at some point. Just to make it less crowded elsewhere. (Nickelback opens, but from an inflatable raft made of sex dolls)