THINGS MY BOYFRIEND DOES AT NIGHT THAT KEEP ME AWAKE

Aaron is the noisiest sleeper on the planet. And I'm his lucky mate.
  1. Teeth grinding
    An earthquake is taking place right next to me. I'm buying him a mouth guard the next time I'm at a drug store. Don't tell him.
  2. Lip smacking
    He dreams about food all the time I think. I don't claim to not be jealous.
  3. Foot wiggling
    Okay this one is actually v. endearing. Sometimes his feet move back and forth, like a dog's back paws when you scratch their sweet spot. My boyfriend!
  4. Heat radiating
    This man is his own personal sauna! I kick off the covers, I'm too cold. I pull a sheet up, I instantly feel the sun's rays against my skin. Most nights I push him far to the other side of the bed so I can get some relief. Other nights I turn the AC to 45 degrees.
  5. Exorcist moaning
    On some special nights, I wake up terrified that a demon has possessed my love in his sleep. I can't explain this noise or why he makes it, but even after two years together I am not accustomed to it and OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW