THINGS MY BOYFRIEND DOES AT NIGHT THAT KEEP ME AWAKE
Aaron is the noisiest sleeper on the planet. And I'm his lucky mate.
- •Teeth grindingAn earthquake is taking place right next to me. I'm buying him a mouth guard the next time I'm at a drug store. Don't tell him.
- •Lip smackingHe dreams about food all the time I think. I don't claim to not be jealous.
- •Foot wigglingOkay this one is actually v. endearing. Sometimes his feet move back and forth, like a dog's back paws when you scratch their sweet spot. My boyfriend!
- •Heat radiatingThis man is his own personal sauna! I kick off the covers, I'm too cold. I pull a sheet up, I instantly feel the sun's rays against my skin. Most nights I push him far to the other side of the bed so I can get some relief. Other nights I turn the AC to 45 degrees.
- •Exorcist moaningOn some special nights, I wake up terrified that a demon has possessed my love in his sleep. I can't explain this noise or why he makes it, but even after two years together I am not accustomed to it and OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW