THINGS I UNDERSTAND ONLY MARGINALLY BUT SPEAK ABOUT WITH ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE

a.k.a I have to google this every time I need it but then I know it intimately for 12 hours
  1. Profit Margin
    I run a community theatre (very cool, I know) and I make presentations to our board describing how shows go etc. one of the things I touch on is the profit margin for a show. I'm a director by training but I took math in high school so it's chill. Must memorize: gross margin/total revenue
  2. "Method" acting
    I mean, I get it. I have two theatre degrees. I understand Strasberg and Stanislavski. But when people start asking me detailed questions I just spew out buzzwords like "objective" "super-objective" and "Uta Hagen". Then someone inevitably wants to discuss the difference between the Method and the System. I. Don't. Care.
  3. Grants
    I write grant requests at my job. I'm good at it. But when I discuss grant writing with people who know nothing about it I lead them to believe I'm an absolute authority on the matter.
  4. Celebrity couples
    This is probably the topic I am most well versed in on this list. But I don't keep perfectly up to date so I definitely lead people astray with my outmoded information.
  5. The difference between whisky, bourbon, scotch, and whiskey
    I have a general grasp. When this happens in front of someone who knows their shit it's embarrassing but whatever, I still do it.
  6. Game of Thrones
    I've read all the books and i make sure EVERYONE knows it.
  7. Latin
    I was a Latin major in college for a hot second. I remember literally no Latin.
  8. Relationship advice
    My love life is not an accurate reflection of my knowledge or skills. I give fantastic advice I just refuse to follow it/take risks.
  9. Football
    I know more than your average joe but way less than I imply in conversations.
  10. Musicals and plays
    I read and see a lot of plays. But if someone mentions something I'm unfamiliar with I just fake it until I can move the conversation to something I know really well e.g. "The Crucible" which I have read a million times.
  11. London
    I lived there for 9 months when I was in grad school but you would think I was fucking Adele the way I discuss it with losers who have never been.