HISTORICAL FIGURES I WOULD BANG

  1. Stalin
    Look, I know he killed millions of people but young Stalin was really hot.
  2. Tsar Nicholas II
    He also had a cousin (whose name escapes me) that looks exactly like him so he gets an honorary spot on here too.
  3. JFK
    I don't find any of the presidents attractive, but if I was going to sleep with one it would have to be Jack. Plus I think he'd be decent at it.
  4. Che Guevara
    Do I even need to explain this one?
  5. Malcolm X
    I'm def picking up what he's putting down. I love suits and he's got those nice glasses, plus he's social conscious so I would feel bad abt it like Stalin.
  6. Ned Kelly
    What. A. Beard.
  7. Gustave Courbet
    Luscious hair and a brilliant painter? Check please! I love his L'Origine du Monde and basically everything about him.
  8. Alexander Hamilton
    Bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by Providence, impoverished, in squalor; grew up to be a hero and a scholar. A Founding Father without a farther; got a lot farther by workin a lot harder, by bein a lot smarter, by bein a self-starter.
  9. Vincent Van Gogh
    He may not be the most attractive bloke in the world but I really love him and the sex would be more for him than for me.
  10. Émile Friant
    Another French painter (I think I have a type). You'll see what I mean.