Guilty pleasures

I am an enigma, wrapped in bacon with a g&t chaser
  1. Eating copious amounts of food
    I'm like a competitive eater in training but I will not dunk my food in water to choke it down
  2. I like to get my drink on and then leave a trail on Twitter so I can berate myself in the morning
  3. I like to startle people with my crude mouth and then say, "what?"
  4. I like to hide from my kids when they call for me (especially when I'm in the next room)
  5. Jack in the Box late night Munchie Meals
    I know it's super stoner food, but it's so budget friendly! Plus they mix curly and straight fries...2 tacos (awful tasting but addictive, drink and a sandwich damnation that makes me hungry Hulk!
  6. Watching Intervention while having a coxktail
  7. Eating chips and (fill in the blank) while watching Top Chef
    Oh I put on some airs when Top Chef is on, but foam and coffee grounds? Bad, bad! (you are going to make Padma spit into a napkin!)
  8. Smelling dog paws
    The smell of the dirt and dog foot gaminess reminds me of the summer I spent amongst nature. I'm totally lying, I just like that smell.