MADE-UP OLD TIMEY MEDICINES THAT WOULD CURE WHAT AILS EVERYONE AROUND MY HOUSE

  1. Decoction of Bromidochrome
  2. Doctor Hauptmann's Patented Phlegm-X-Tractor
  3. Muskrat Oil
  4. Professor Leggitt's Bonafide Elixir of Life
  5. Laying on of Hands by Sister Elfrieda
  6. Tincture of Grievous Weed
  7. Widow's Tonic
    Actually whiskey
  8. Pharnum & Trundle's Scientific Energizing Powders
    Actually cocaine