Boyfriends I deserve, goddamnit

Never had a boyfriend
  1. Bad boy
    How have I NOT been picked up by a bad boy on his motorcycle yet? Total bullshit!
  2. Boo Radley type
    Lurker, but not a bad guy! Will stay in with me and watch TV with me
  3. Ex con who was WRONGLY accused
    I'm into this
  4. The nice guy
    Gives me foot massages, breakfast in bed etc, a sycophant who I would dispose of hastily
  5. Comedian
    We would have to do diff shows though to talk about each other
  6. Famous man who I get paid to have a faux relationship with so he appears more likeable to the public eye
  7. Italian guy
    Speaks no English, just smiles when I bring him to parties
  8. British guy
    Is a prick, but no once cares cause he has a British accent
  9. non racist redneck
    Daryl Dixon type
  10. Reformed drug addict
    Probably has some good stories
  11. MEGA RICH KID who is trying to find himself before he eventually works in finance
    We live together on a sailboat or something "I just like to come out here and get away from all the noise" he'll say
  12. A drifter
  13. Cool truck driver who listens to audio books and is saving money to go to law school
    Guy I met at tailgate WAS this guy and I've been into this ever since
  14. Guitarist
    But not an asshole about it
  15. Lowlife
    Get it out of my system