From Your Birthmother
To my daughter on her birthday.
- 1.You are cherished by me.I loved, love, and will continue to love you.
- 2.Please know that you were desperately wanted by me and your parents.
- 3.Your life has not been kept secret to anyone that matters to me. All who love me know about you.
- 4.I saw your mom fall in love with you when she held you for the first time.
- 5.I loved you even before I held you in my arms.I did hold you. I had to fight nurses to hold you. How do you say goodbye without knowing a person?
- 6.Your parents were so wonderful to me. They did not judge or shame me. They made me feel loved and respected even when I felt I did not deserve love.
- 7.My heart was broken into a million pieces when I left the hospital without you. My heart will never be the same.I got home and wept for days. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done to date.
- 8.I did not cut off the hospital band with your name on it until I signed the adoption papers.I still have the wrist band. I will always have the wrist band.
- 9.Everyone says adoption is a beautiful gift of human life to a family that cannot have a child of their own.I do not pat myself on the back. You did not have a say in this decision and nobody can give a human as a gift.
- 10.Your life was a gift to me from God. All life is a work of art. Just to create the person you are is a mathematical miracle!I didn't feel I deserved or was prepared for God's gift at that moment of my life.
- 11.I want you to know that your adoption was a conscious decision to take your mathematical art work and allow a family with more life skill to mold our shared DNA into the human you were meant to be.A fancy way of saying I felt your life would be better with a family that knew what they were doing. Subjecting you to the unpredictability of my life would not be fair to you.
- 12.I haven't met anyone in the world that had a childhood of skittled colored rainbows, but my hearts desire for you was a childhood full of unconditional love, a strong safety net of support and delight at your accomplishments.
- 13.I hope your parents helped you with any and all negative feelings about adoption or just the human condition that all people carry in this world.
- 14.I will not be trite with any emotion you had, have, or may have in the future.Some adopted children experience feelings of abandonment, a loss of self esteem or anger. You have a right to those emotions.
- 15.I always felt that if you didn't need to reach out to me, it meant you were happy and healthy.I have heard that there may be other reasons why children do not need to meet their Birthmother but I hold out hope that my reasoning is sound.
- 16.I am available to you in any way you need me. At any time you need me and any reason you need me.I am and always will be your mother.
- 17.Today is your birthday. My hope is that you can celebrate all your birthdays knowing that you are really, truly and exceptionally loved.