A day at work.
  1. I can't believe I double clicked!
    Computer locks up.
  2. Did you clear the cache?
    I did that already!
  3. You are using the wrong browser.
    This is the browser specific to the application. Don't you know that?
  4. It is the network not the application.
    Aka the Ethernet connection is slow.
  5. It must be the wifi bandwidth.
    I thought the Ethernet connection was slow?
  6. Did you restart?
  7. We need to re-image your CPU.
    Why does it have a complex?
  8. The application is on a virtual machine? If it is virtual does it really exist?
    Where do I work? The Starship Enterprise?
  9. The virtual desktop has a link to the virtual server the application is sitting on.
    Is everything virtual?
  10. Your CPU doesn't have enough RAM.
    What about the virtual thing?
  11. The network must be down.
    Is the network virtual?
  12. The Network Team: If the application was on a server we could help you but the application is sitting on a virtual machine.
    Again with the virtual.
  13. Me: Who maintains the virtual machine?
    I ask trying not to cry. Reference my Things You Can Cure With A Donut.
  14. Network Team: the application sits on a host.
  15. Who maintains the host?
    Reference the above.
  16. IT: the Network Team.
    Someone bring me a donut!!!!