COSTUMES I HAVE WORN IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

I don't like Halloween.
  1. 1.
    A black cat
    Age 4ish. Halloween.
  2. 2.
    A cowboy
    Age 4. Some sort of "kids around the world skit." I got America. Kept wearing the cowboy boots with my everyday outfits.
  3. 3.
    A fortune teller
    Ages 8-10. Halloween at school. Carried a weird crystal ball that my mom had around the living room with a petrified starfish inside. Like a snow globe but without the snow.
  4. 4.
    Gwen Stefani
    Ages 12-16. Halloween. I didn't care about Halloween as a teen so this costume was a cop-out as I already dressed like Gwen everyday. #gwennabe
  5. 5.
    A Freudian Slip
    Age 22. Halloween. It was my first Halloween in New York. I still didn't care about Halloween (see above). The costume was a black slip dress (Karl Lagerfeld for H&M) with a picture of Freud that I printed out and just taped on top.
  6. 6.
    Garth Algar.
    Age 25. Halloween. Classic Algar with flannel, jeans, Converse, blonde wig. Went to a "hip" NY party and the owner of a "hip" NY store asked me if I was Tavi.
  7. 7.
    Garth Algar, Truth or Dare version.
    Age 26. Halloween. You know, from that Wayne's World sketch where they play Truth or Dare with Madonna, and Wayne and Madonna start to kiss and then she's all "whoa, check out the unit on that guy!," and it's Garth in a black unitard wearing gloves with really long nails and a giant bulge in his pants. That's wha I went as. I stuffed a sock down my Alexander Wang leggings and it was a v successful look although to be honest I don't think many people understood what was happening.
  8. 8.
    Frida Kahlo
    Age 12. 8th grade Latin American History presentation. I already had the eyebrows, so it was a natural choice. (This is supposed to be higher on the list but I messed it up after trying to shift everything down because I forgot it the first time around.)