THOUGHTS I HAD WHILE WATCHING THE GOP DEBATE

I am a Democrat.
  1. John Kasich tries so hard. He looks like he's in a 10th grade speech competition. Kinda feel bad for the guy already.
  2. What's up with Ben Carson's eyebrows?
  3. Does Trump do bar mitzvahs?
  4. I'm pretty sure Carly Fiorina makes up all of her statistics.
  5. Has Mike Huckabee lost weight?
  6. For real, though. What is going on with those eyebrows? Is it a tic?
  7. Oh God, I think I feel sorry for Jeb Bush. How did that happen?
  8. Ted Cruz sounds like a pastor that would lead a gay conversion therapy group. And he's not answering any of the questions.
  9. Omg, Chris Christie is like totally ob-sessed with HRC.
  10. Ben Carson's hand gestures are awkward as fuck. Is he doing the church and the steeple game? Is he on drugs?
  11. Stop looking at me, Chris Christie.
  12. Did Jeb just sneeze? What was that?
  13. All of these people are nuts.