I WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR MY CAT

But please don't challenge it...
  1. My cat is cuter than your children
  2. She's fluffy
  3. She doesn't hiss at people
  4. She WILL catch that red laser dot
  5. She plays in toilet water and her food dish water and splashes water everywhere like a beautiful ahole
  6. Loves to watch me sweep and swiffer
  7. Her sworn enemy is the vacuum. And small children
  8. Turns to liquid at the first sign of danger