A SENTENCE FOR EACH OF THE LAST FIVE PEOPLE I'VE KISSED

Okay how do y'all remember EVERYONE you've ever kissed?? I went through a long phase of getting v affectionate when drunk, but man, I've kissed a lot of people. In order of least to most recent.
  1. 5.
    I really did not want this to happen and I regret it a lot.
  2. 4.
    Honestly, you are so annoying, but I'm thankful you're still here.
  3. 3.
    Sorry I got so drunk that we made out and I ruined our year and a half of platonic friendship, but you're swell for pretending it didn't happen.
  4. 2.
    I'm sad it's over, but I'm actually very relieved that I'm not the one who fucked it up.
  5. 1.
    We have to stop hooking up in cars, and despite the fact that you hardly ever answer my texts, you're still one of the coolest people I know.