The editor of The Paris Review told us today that he can think in 300-word book reviews. Here's my take on that.
- •BRAS: What's the point of these? I used them for ten years, but as soon as I got rid of this product, my quality of life improved. To people with boobs: if you need bras because you have back problems, go on with your bad self. If you DON'T, throw them out. You deserve to be free.
- •WEARING HEELS IN NEW YORK: Alright, I know there are some necessary evils in life, but this just seems gratuitous. Getting your skinny three inch heel stuck in a subway grate is about the most physical representation of wishing for death that I can think of.
- •CHEST ACNE: Where did this shit come from? How do I get rid of it? Why is the eye immediately drawn to the ridiculous number of red dots contrasting with my paper white skin? Help.
- •SHAKE SHACK: We at @lame's li.st account have heard a boatload of good press about Shake Shack, and as cynical beings, we didn't really buy it. We must apologize for our ignorance. Shake Shack burgers are life-changing. The buns are soft and addictive. What's in the sauce? Some sort of opiate? The fries are crinkly, but crisp and delicious. 10/10
- •LOVE: We've heard a lot about love over the past hundred years or so, and I think it's safe to say the bar was too high. The fuzzy feeling in your stomach is enjoyable, and being able to kiss a beautiful face whenever you want is certainly ideal, but I don't recommend the gut-wrenching pain of falling out of it. If you use this product, be cautious
- •REVIEWS: It's kind of a conceited form of story-telling, isn't it? Here's something we all know about, whether by word-of-mouth or firsthand, but I think you should take precious time out of your day to read MY opinion on it. I'M important. God, I mean, how meta is it to review reviews? Who's to say, but you've taken the time to read it, so I win