list of requirements for my potential new mate
  1. like all of my tweets
    retweets 🔛
  2. appreciate the music i love
    not necessarily love it too, but don't be a dick about yeezus bc it means a lot to me
  3. be cool with my friends
    they must like you so again don't be a dick
  4. have goals
    nothing worse than a late 20s man living at home and working the same job for the 8th year with no plans for the future (is this a real life example? idk maybe)
  5. take charge
    i'm a wuss (and also have trauma? lol?) so i cannot make a move
  6. tell people about me
    tag me in an insta, make it fb offish, tweet about how cute i am IDC just show you're not embarrassed
  7. watch and love clue and heathers
    i'm not sure how this became the litmus test for my potential lovers but if you don't laugh at tim curry as wadsworth, we're through
  8. communicate
    text me, call me, beep me if ya wanna reach me, i just need WORDS to come out of your MOUTH AND/OR FINGERTIPS
  9. laugh at my jokes
    look, if you don't find me funny, this isn't gonna work bc i'm hilarious and you're an idiot