THINGS I LEARNED LAST NIGHT

Lessons from a shitty Friday!!
  1. Don't wear wool thigh highs in July in NYC. Even if they look killer.
    You will SWEAT
  2. Don't down two vodka lemonades and then two whiskey ginger ales
    Bad combination
  3. Stop eating pizza after midnight!!
    My stomach is killing me
  4. Don't take the damn train all the way out to Brooklyn when the guy you're trying to meet is drunk as hell
  5. Bc he will send you to the wrong address
  6. And then you'll have to go back five stops
  7. And by the time you walk the 20 minutes from the stop to his house, his roommate will inform you that he's passed the fuck out and you will feel silly
    By this point, your drunkenness is gone. Nowhere to be found.
  8. Plus then you'll have to go all the way back to Manhattan. Alone. At 3:30 AM.
  9. Lastly, be grateful sometimes that @online is still in Prague even though you miss her a ton, bc she'll pick up your call at 4 AM. It's already 10 AM in the Czech Republic