THREE YEARS AGO TODAY

  1. I was officially introduced to Kym for the first time.
  2. We had a group project together. He was quiet and, of course, fucking adorable. We found out we had the same name and he made some joke about it and I blushed.
  3. A day or so later, another guy in our group, Michael, posted his campaign poster for student government on fb and I commented on it bc it was rly well done!
  4. Well Kym had made it, and he responded to my comment and then messaged me privately. We talked on fb chat that first night for nearly 8 hours. It was 5 AM when I finally went to bed.
    I actually slept through an hour of meeting a different group for a project the next day. What an idiot!!
  5. Soon after this, we met up in person. He was SO cute and funny. Self deprecating, quietly charming, plus the ACCENT. I feel every American falls for a Brit bc of this at some point.
  6. But we really did fall in love. I was only in the country for one more month after we met, but I spent almost all of that time with Kym.
  7. He would come to my room and we'd lay in bed for hours and hours, never sleeping, usually chatting about everything and kissing for a while. Just holding each other.
    It was the most comfortable I'd ever been with another human being, while still feeling totally electrified by what we had.
  8. I met his friends—we played monopoly together, went to the supermarket at 7 AM and bought beer, smoked weed, smoked cigarettes, ate Kym's homemade chili.
  9. Kym taught me how to roll a cigarette (I sucked at it) and a spliff (I sucked even worse at this). His suite mate across the hall was a drug dealer and gave us a handful of weed for free one day bc he liked us so much.
  10. My parents visited for a week in the middle of all of this, and they met Kym. It was the first time I'd ever introduced them to anyone, and he was SO nervous they were going to hate him.
    Then I went to London for a few days with my parents and fb chatted Kym on my mom's phone (bc I'd run out of data) the whole damn time.
  11. It should've been a wake up call. How was I going to move back to America if I couldn't go a two hour train ride away without missing him?
  12. We knew we were being stupid, but I was 19 and I didn't know anything about heartbreak. I thought I'd go home and...idk. Maybe I didn't think I'd go home.
  13. But I did. And that morning, in the train station with my best friend of five months and Kym, was the hardest goodbye I've ever had to say.
  14. He told me one last time, in person, that he loved me. And I just cried and kissed him.
  15. A lot has happened in the last three years. We were on good terms, we were on bad terms, he ended relationships "because of me," I dated other people and stopped talking to him.
  16. For a long time, we texted every day and skyped when we could, but now we don't talk anymore. It was too hard. I called him when I was living in Prague and we hashed it out, and I fear that's the last time I'll ever hear his voice.
  17. That's okay.
  18. All this is just a sign that I should delete timehop so I don't have to watch myself falling in love on social media...and then being crushed when he moved on.
  19. But I won't do that. The pain is important. It's good to remember I'm capable of falling in love...