THINGS I WOULD NEVER DO

  1. Knowingly eat another human being's flesh
  2. Slap one of my students... But it can be tempting
  3. Move to North Korea
  4. Give you up
  5. Buy heroin... Selling is a different story
  6. Give a blowjob
  7. Eat a black jellybean
  8. Buy a DVD for my own personal entertainment purposes
  9. Support Kony 2012
  10. Attend a dog concert. If it ever became a real thing. Although, you know what, it might already be real... Someone really should patent that.
  11. Patent dog concerts