ASSUMED PLOT FROM HARRY POTTER (WHICH I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN OR READ)
Inspired by @lenadunham and this list she made ASSUMED PLOT AND DIALOGUE TO THE ORIGINAL 'STAR WARS' (WHICH I HAVE STILL YET TO SEE)
- •Harry lives in a broom closet with his evil step mother.
- •His real mother was killed by Voldemort, who gave him a wicked awesome scar ⚡️⚡️⚡️
- •One day an owl shows up and shape shifts vampire-style into the giant from Big Fish.His name is Hagrid?
- •"You're a wizard, Harry." -Hagrid
- •Harry goes tuition free to wizard school because wizard land is progressive as hell.
- •He meets feminist icon Emma Watson and a redhead named Ron Stoppable. They all become instant besties.
- •Emma Watson plays Emma Watson.
- •Cue some jokes about Ron being a goof. Get it together, Ron!
- •There's an emo professor named Snape and a crazy cat lady. They're a couple?
- •Draco is a bully.
- •Everyone gets segregated because it turns out wizard land isn't as progressive as everyone thought.
- •Harry becomes the quarterback of the school broom team and loses his virginity to Myrtle. Everything seems to be going well.
- •Voldemort shows up to kill Harry because ???????????? He's the chosen one maybe?
- •(end of first movie)
- •(there's like seven more movies)Idk what goes on in ANY of these. Emo professor cheats on cat professor with Harry's mom? But I thought she was dead? Something about a diary? Harry can speak to snakes? Chitty Chitty bang bang makes a brief cameo. Wizards walk through brick walls sometimes. Paintings talk... Ooh! Harry ends up with Ron Stoppable's sister, I know that. (Uncool, Harry. Respect the bro code.) Expelliarmus! Muggle! Abra Cadabra!
- •Harry and the gang defeat Voldemort!!!!!