PLANTS I WILL ACCIDENTALLY KILL THIS YEAR

I'm trying to grow a garden. I will likely fail.
  1. Basil
    I started the herb garden first, but the people at the nursery told me I need to pinch it. Why must I abuse a plant?
  2. Thyme
    I'm not even sure why I bought it.
  3. Cilantro
    Okay, this was mostly dead when I bought it. It was in a pot that was too small. So I'm going to forgive myself.
  4. Cucumbers
    Apparently they don't grow well in Colorado because it's dry here, so I'm destined to fail.
  5. Tomato (cherry and roma)
    I might actually have a shot at not killing these. But only because I bought three.
  6. Kale
    Really?
  7. Spinach
    Kale light.
  8. Cauliflower
    I don't even know why I think this has a chance.
  9. Jalapeño
    My husband really wanted to grow peppers. If anything succeeds.... oh hell, I hate jalapeños.