A Guide to My Home Town

Pal-Riv, NJ
  1. The Park Tavern
    An absolute must for those looking to get hit on by high school acquaintances and/or their fathers.
  2. Wawa at 3 am
    A guaranteed run-in with your old high school nemesis.
  3. Manny's Pizza
    One of a couple places to get pizza. Go here to piss off people who prefer Milanese.
  4. The Recycling Center
    The go-to spot for getting fingered in high school.
  5. The River
    This is another great place to get fingered in high school, just make sure to hide in some bushes. Or, if you still live with your parents at 25, a great place to hang without adult supervision. Watch out for the police.
  6. The Train Station
    A great local hang for anyone between the ages of 12 - old enough to buy drugs.
  7. Your Parents' Basement
    Very affordable rates.
  8. Your Friends' Parents' Basement
    Great change of pace. Better snacks.