Dicks, Ranked

  1. 1.
    Dick van Dyke
    Duh
  2. 2.
    Dick Clark
    Obvious.
  3. 3.
    Jon Hamm's 🍆
    This would be higher on the list except that I'm positive it would rip me in half.
  4. 4.
    Dick's Sporting Goods
    This was my go-to athletic store in my prime sporting days because fuck Modell's, their aesthetic sucks!
  5. 5.
    Moby Dick
    TBH never read this but Matilda loved it and it's a classic.
  6. 6.
    My ex-boyfriend's 🍆
    I'm over it. But solid dick! #lol
  7. 7.
    Dick's Last Resort
    Not really my thing but fun idea I suppose.
  8. 8.
    Dick Whitman
    Love me some Don Draper but honestly I don't want to deal with all of that shit.
  9. 9.
    Spotted Dick
    Never tried this, never will, but can't be worse than the next two.
  10. 10.
    Dick Pics
    No.
  11. 11.
    Dick Cheney
    No.