you're not gonna like 'em
  1. Take Beyoncé out of the equation and Adele STILL doesn't deserve that Grammy, Bieber does.
    Did we listen to the same album!? It goes: 21 > 19 > 25
  2. You can't claim someone is "the love of your life" in your 20s, maybe even your 30s. That is DEATH BED terminology.
    Even if you're married or have been dating for ten years!!! Sorry!!! How do you know?! You don't!! I'm cynical and I approve this message!!!
  3. Giving up meat is the only way to reverse climate change.
    Take shorter showers and give up all the almonds you want. It ain't doing jack shit.
  4. STRANGER THINGS is a garbage show.
    You liked it because A. It made you nostalgic for the 80s, childhood, or good Spielberg movies. B. You binged it which means you didn't have time to think about the flaws for a week in between episodes.
  5. No one on FRIENDS ends up with their soulmate.
    Soulmates: Chandler & Kathy, Monica & Richard, Ross & Charlie, Phoebe & David.
  6. Philly has a better vegan/vegetarian scene than NY and LA.
  7. The European chefs on CHEF'S TABLE are the least interesting and the US chefs are the most interesting.
    I don't care what this says of me. I want less European and more US/South American/Asian. Have you SEEN the Nancy Silverton and Ivan Orkin episodes? Solid TV. SOLID.
  8. BATMAN & ROBIN (1997) is the best BATMAN movie.
  9. Trump supporters deserve whatever it is that's coming to them.
    Any of it and all of it. I feel like there's this moral liberal high ground where people think it makes them better than others because they say things like "they didn't know what they were voting for" or "have some empathy for them!" No. I don't have empathy for the stupid and the racist. You voted for Trump and now you won't receive Meals on Wheels? Aw sucks to suck.
  10. 64 oz of water a day is not enough. The goal should be 128 oz.
  11. Chrissy Teigen is keeping John Legend relevant.
    Look, I like John but I don't think any of us would really care about him if Chrissy wasn't in the picture.
  12. The majority of people in relationships settle.
  14. Most hot takes aren't, in fact, hot takes.
  15. LA Mexican food is mediocre.
  16. LA has better Thai food than Thailand.
  17. 69ing is ineffective and the worst way to both give and receive.
    Is this something people actually enjoy? WHY? SMH just take turns.
  18. This is the ugliest type of engagement ring and in the future you'll be able to say to someone, "oh you must have gotten engaged between 2014 and 2018."
    This goes for all similar rings. IDK cuts but even when there's no *cough CZ cough* around the band or when it's one bigger *cough CZ cough* in the middle.
  19. Emma Watson's $2.5 million upfront fee for BEAUTY & THE BEAST is offensive and she should fire her reps yesterday.
  20. Leonardo DiCaprio is an extremely overrated actor and did not deserve the Oscar for THE REVENANT.
    It's not even his best role!! Chill the fuck out about Leo!! He's alright at best.
  21. Cory Booker is a phony.
    I know this hurts!! It hurt me at first too!! But I'm from NJ and have been following his career/twitter since he was mayor of Newark. It's all publicity for him. Like one time when he was mayor he literally saved a cat from a tree but the fire department was called first and they called him and he called local news and then he saved the cat!! Fake!!!!!!
  22. Sophia Coppola has never made a good movie but her films are "pretty" which is why people are fooled into liking them.
  23. SINGING IN THE RAIN is absolutely not the number one musical of all time and do not tell me that I didn't "get" it.
  24. Rome sucks.
  25. Colin Jost isn't funny.
    Y'all he was DEMOTED. Let's stop pretending he wasn't. You know why? CAUSE HE SUCKS.
  26. Channing Tatum is unattractive.
    Talk about a butter face except muscles to that extent aren't really my thing so
  27. Sean Spicer shouldn't be fired because I am petty and vindictive. I don't want people to pay Trump on the back for firing someone who should have never been hired. Also Spicer is so fucking transparent. We know when he's lying. He sucks at it. What happens when we don't know when they're lying?
  28. Faking an orgasm is so fucking stupid because then you don't get to orgasm and then the guy thinks he did a job well done when he didn't.
    No shame in not finishing just don't give him credit for something he didn't do smdh
  30. You're not a "better" liberal because you think Ann Coulter or other racist, right wing nut jobs deserve to speak at schools or events because of "free speech."
  31. No one over the age of 67 should run for president unless they are a woman.
    Men die younger sorry. If I'm too young to run for president then joe Biden and Bernie Sanders are too old to run in 2020.
  32. MASTER OF NONE is a mediocre show but not one wants to admit to this because we appreciate what Aziz is trying to do.
  33. Most hummus is disappointing.
    Y'all love your gd hummus by let me tell you, it's extremely mediocre 98% of the time. I'm not trying to be a snob here but all store bought is garbage. The homemade hummus you make from like Ina or someone is edible but like I'm not writing home about it. In rare cases, it's phenomenal. The only phenomenal hummus stateside that comes to mind is Zahav or Dizengoff.
  34. "Don't speak ill of the dead" is an okay phrase to say if its about your grandmother who maybe wasn't perfect or an old friend you had a falling out with. It ain't for the garbage. What I'm saying is, shit talk Roger Ailes all you want. Physically shit in his body. Idgaf. He trash.
  35. At the risk of sounding like an evil bitch here, crowdsourcing funds for your pet is taking it too far. It's not your kid's medical bills. You chose to get a dog or cat or whatever. That shit costs money. Should have factored it in when you made the decision to get a pet.
    Hello I am going to hell
  36. None of you are offended by the Kathy Griffin thing, you're just pretending to be offended by it.
  37. Chris Pratt is boring.
    Everything about him bores me. His face, his personality. All of it.
  38. Hiking down a mountain is 50 times harder than hiking up a mountain.
  39. Getting married and calling your in laws "mom" and "dad" is weird as fuck. You're a grown ass adult with your own mom and dad. Not a child who got adopted or has a new step dad.
  40. No need to leave your phone number in the message of your voicemail, I know that already as I just dialed it.
  41. My tweets are funnier than my twitter followers allow me to believe.
  42. Caramel DeLites, the second best Girl Scout Cookie, could be improved with higher quality ingredients when baked by me. But Thin Mints, the best Girl Scout Cookie, cannot be improved.
  43. Steve Scalise is directly responsible for the shooting and should be held accountable for this and other shootings. He has an A+ rating from the NRA. Send him thoughts and prayers bc it's petty and then demand he do something.
  44. Just because JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter, doesn't mean all the new information she drops on us in canon.
    Enough already god damnit. ENOUGH.
  45. This trend of JOINT bachelor/bachelorette parties must die. If you have a joint party with your s/o, you shouldn't be getting married.
  46. Hey ladies. Your bf watching porn isn't cheating. Get yourself a therapist if this bothers you.
  47. Bangkok > Chiang Mai
  48. My boobs are too big.
    Whoa Lauren chill they're not even big much less too big!! See that's why it's a hot take!!!!!
  49. Stop voting 70 and 80 year olds into public office.
  50. S*Town was mediocre. Everyone chill out.
  51. You'll never again have the feeling you first had when you first discovered list but you will always remember how it made you feel!!!
  52. For more HOT TAKES, follow me on twitter @laurengural !!!!!