My 2016 in Numbers: A Projection

At the end of the year, we'll compare notes.
  1. Weddings I'll Attend: 1
  2. Close Friends That Will Call Me To Tell Me They Got Engaged: 2
  3. States I'll Visit: 6
  4. Flights I'll Be On: 6
  5. Relationships Close To Me That Will End: 2
  6. Men I'll Hook Up With:
    I'm not answering this bc it allows me to not answer it at the end of the year.
  7. Men I'll Reject (Strangers): 4
  8. Male Friends That Will Try To Hook Up With Me That I'll Reject Who Will Then Later Apologize: 2
  9. Men I'll Respond Positively To When Approached: 1?
    Probably 0. Let's be real.
  10. Facebook Booty Calls From Old Acquaintances: 1
  11. Jobs I'll Apply To: 34
    this probably seems low to you guys but I have been applying to new jobs for so long. If it's higher than 34 I'm jumping off a bridge.
  12. Jobs I'll Get: 1
  13. Books I'll Read: 26
  14. TV Shows I'll Binge Watch: 6
  15. Movies I'll See In Theaters: 7
  16. Times I'll Call My Mom: 124
  17. Times My Mom Will Call Me: 203
  18. Bars/Clubs/Parties I Will Show Up To Out Of Social Obligation and Then Irish Goodbye 23 Minutes Later: 21
  19. Bags Of Potato Chips I'll Consume: 29
  20. Times I'll Be Drunk: 3
  21. Times I'll Cry: 211
  22. Haircuts: 4
  23. Parties I'll Attend That I'll Unanimously Bring The Best Dish To: 3
  24. Celebrities I'll Pretend Not To Recognize In The Wild: 5
  25. Loved Ones That Will Visit Me In LA: 5
  26. Times I'll Trend On @list: 5
  27. Times I'll Be Featured On @list: 1