Proposals I'd Reject

I am not judging anyone for any (most) of these engagements but if anyone proposes to me in the following ways, then BYE, you don't know me at all.
  1. In any Disney park
  2. In front of friends and family
    NO NO NO NO
  3. With a rock from like Kay jewelers or some shit
    If that ring isn't Tiffany's or vintage or from some mom and pop jeweler then FUCK OFFFFFF
  4. At a sporting event
    Does this actually happen? Has any woman said yes in this scenario?
  5. At a restaurant where the ring is like in a cake or a champagne flute
    How DARE you HOW DARE YOU
  6. On a beach
    I HATE THE BEACH
  7. In front of some monument like the Eiffel Tower or Big Ben
    How is this in any way personal?
  8. Filmed with the intention of posting online
  9. With a flash mob or people dancing or anything ostentatious
  10. IN A DISNEY PARK
    I can't stress this enough
  11. IN FRONT OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY
    Again, can't stress this enough.
  12. On a whim without the ring
  13. If later that night we're not able to bone for hours without worrying about other people
    Listen if we are staying at your parents over the holidays or we're on vacation with friends and sharing a hotel room with them (this happened to someone I know) then DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT YOU MORON
  14. On Valentine's Day or Christmas or NYE
    You can clean up my barf on the way out. 👋👋👋👋
  15. In Times Square or during a carriage ride in Central Park
    Have some self-respect.
  16. If you plan on immediately posting on social media