Shit People in Mediocre Relationships Say to Their Single Friends

It's a known fact that if you're single, your IQ drops by forty points!
  1. It's not all about looks!
    Wow, really?! Okay thanks, now I know!
  2. It will happen when you least expect it!
    So you weren't thinking about being in a relationship at all before you met your significant other?
  3. You're too picky.
    It's almost like everyone who says this is willing their boyfriend to bootie call me months later at 2 am.
  4. You know, it's not always easy. There's a lot of compromise.
    Yeah, I mean, I've never interacted with other humans before, so thanks for the heads up.
  5. It'll happen for you eventually.
    Fuck OFF.
  6. I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince!
    No you didn't, bitch. You're on boyfriend number 2, and that's counting the three week relationship you had in high school.
  7. Work on yourself first!
    No. I'm perfect. You work on you. Dump that load with the receding hairline.
  8. I thought I'd be single forever, too!
    Guess what! There's still time for that to happen! Fingers crossed!
  9. I admire your independence!
    Yeah, you're definitely not allowed to be independent AND in a relationship.
  10. You're so pretty though!
    Bitch I know.