This is a list of red flag-like behaviour performed by a variety of ex boyfriends which I should have noticed at the time, but alas, I was In Too Deep. Some sad shit, some funny shit, don't mean to perpetuate a Poor Me! narrative, just think what we justify for people we love is interesting, and how those memories shift with distance.
  1. When my friend asked him what kind of music he liked, and his response was "anything melodious"
  2. When he (a white, Catholic boy) had a real thing for Japanese culture and flirted with all the Japanese waitresses, in Japanese
  3. When he pressured me to give him blowjobs on my period, even if I didn't feel like it or was like, you know, half asleep
    Amirite, ladies!
  4. When he said he liked being peed on but he would never want that from me
    It me, a walking talking Madonna Whore complex!
  5. When he came to my parents house and said yooo my girlfriend is a RICH JEW!!!!
  6. When he looked me deep in the eyes over a cocktail and said, "here's looking at you, kid,"
    Ok I may have been swooning at that exact moment but in retrospect GROSS! Lol!!
  7. When he waited until THE NIGHT BEFORE PROM to prompose
  8. When he was intrigued by my depression and anxiety until I was actually mentally breaking down then said that he didn't want to deal with it and PEACED!
    Later he apologized and made me see how it was all just so hard for him. It was really just very hard for him, not being there for me. Really hard.
  9. When he "decided" to be an artist at the age of 22
  10. When he bought the cheapest hot pink dildo from the Stag Shop, gave it to me, and said it was "homework" ;)
    I was 15 lol
  11. When he told me his great grandfather was in the SS
    I wouldn't actually judge someone for their family but he was a douchebag and happened to be the descendent of a literal nazi I mean come ON!
  12. When he had a cute n flirty lil coke habit
  13. When we were watching When Harry Met Sally and all he wanted was to shtup and completely ignored one of the best movies of all time
  14. When, as a gift, he gave me a book of William Blake's poetry, so I could understand his complicated self a little easier
  15. When he contemplated getting a tattoo of a tiger, in tribute to the William Blake poem
  16. When he had to get off the phone to just be alone and listen to some smooth jazz
    Ugh.. So contemplative.. So deep.. What goin' on in that brilliant little mind of yours? Guess I'll never know!
  17. When he talked about how much he identified with Californication's Hank Moody, notorious ladykilla and tortured soul