THE 10 MOST RECENT THINGS IDIOTS HAVE SAID TO ME WHILE I TENDED BAR

7 to wet your whistle. 3 to surely come after my next shift.
  1. "Do you like my ring? I bought it when I made my first million."
  2. (As "Under Pressure" plays) Dude: "I hung out with him at a pool in Vegas once." Me: "Freddy Mercury?!" Dude: "No. Vanilla Ice!" Me: "😶"
  3. Garbage Human: "You're tall. Did you play basketball in college?" Me: "I didn't go to college." Garbage Human: "I guess that's why you work in a bar."
  4. "I went to Auschwitz and I didn't even cry!"
  5. Idiot: "I'll have a whisky." Me: "Neat or on the rocks." Idiot: "Yes." Me: "..."
  6. "Entertain me."
  7. "Rand Paul is making some good points."
  8. "I like that you're a cunt and you totally own it."