Away Messages I Need for Dating Apps

Hi, I'm sorry I can't respond to your message right now...
  1. I'm not "busy" per se, but I'm extremely preoccupied with the minutae of my own life and also with the new season of Fargo and I forgot I was single.
  2. I am taking some time off from dating on this app so I can focus on personal growth, and also, dating on another app, which I've arbitrarily decided is better.
    *It's not.
  3. I was swiping while tired, drunk or emotionally vulnerable and ultimately fell asleep and/or into a pit of despair before responding to any messages. I will likely forget that this whole incident ever happened.
  4. I can't currently be bothered, but stay tuned and you may hear from me next time I am in an Uber or in line at the DMV.
    💘love happens when u least expect it, like when you're swiping on the toilet 💘