Footnotes on a Birth Control Pamphlet from 1986

It WAS revised in 1998, though, so this was still relevant when The Parent Trap hit theaters.
  1. What a comforting portrait of totally unforced racial harmony
    MFK: Marry the Asian guy, fuck the mustache guy, kill the scary white lady in the front
  2. "Hey babe, let's grab a 'rubber' so it will 'catch' the sperm when I 'come' inside you"
  3. There is no reality of my life where an accidental pregnancy is not, by definition, a problem.
  4. I'm banking that my birth control pill success rate averages out to 98%
    "Very careful" is not how I would describe any element of my morning routine. Like, 'pretty careful,' maybe?
  5. It is clear that the "Natural Family Planning" method IS NOT for me
    "mucus" 🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘
  6. ?????????????