New for Fall: Relationship-Themed Clothing At The Gap
- •Boyfriend ShirtsPrice: $25.
- •Girlfriend JeansPrice: $65, but people will still be able to tell if you're not actually someone's girlfriend
- •Jilted Fiancé Yoga PantsPrice: $105, plus shipping fees so you don't have to look the beautiful yoga instructor salesgirl in the eyes.
- •Ex-Boyfriend Flannel ShirtPrice: $40, plus emotional cost of relentless feelings of despair and emptiness
- •Ex-Boyfriend's New Girlfriend DressPrice: Not available to you for purchase, as it can really only be pulled off by someone who is a little bit slenderer than you. Don't feel bad, it's just that you don't have quite the effortless good looks. But there's an old garbage bag in the back, maybe you could try that on?
- •Ex-Wife SweatpantsPrice: Varies according to terms of pre-nuptial agreement
- •One Night Stand SweatshirtPrice: Discounted to $9.99 due to unsavory stain. No returns.
- •Buy them all now! Or wait 2 days and get everything on sale for 85% off. It's The Gap.