New for Fall: Relationship-Themed Clothing At The Gap

  1. Boyfriend Shirts
    Price: $25.
  2. Girlfriend Jeans
    Price: $65, but people will still be able to tell if you're not actually someone's girlfriend
  3. Jilted Fiancé Yoga Pants
    Price: $105, plus shipping fees so you don't have to look the beautiful yoga instructor salesgirl in the eyes.
  4. Ex-Boyfriend Flannel Shirt
    Price: $40, plus emotional cost of relentless feelings of despair and emptiness
  5. Ex-Boyfriend's New Girlfriend Dress
    Price: Not available to you for purchase, as it can really only be pulled off by someone who is a little bit slenderer than you. Don't feel bad, it's just that you don't have quite the effortless good looks. But there's an old garbage bag in the back, maybe you could try that on?
  6. Ex-Wife Sweatpants
    Price: Varies according to terms of pre-nuptial agreement
  7. One Night Stand Sweatshirt
    Price: Discounted to $9.99 due to unsavory stain. No returns.
  8. Buy them all now! Or wait 2 days and get everything on sale for 85% off. It's The Gap.