The Seven Penises You Meet in Heaven
- •The Blind PenisThis penis doesn't know what you look like - it is aroused exclusively by your great personality.
- •The Wise PenisThis philosophical penis understands the element of human folly in all sexual desires. It isn't great at sex but it gives thoughtful advice.
- •The Silent PenisThe silent penis does not seek to undermine you with words, or to muffle you with its own need for attention. This penis just listens, quietly and thoughtfully. Sometimes you get the feeling it's actually sleeping though.
- •The Rich PenisThis decadent penis lavishes you with gifts. And that's it.
- •The Penis that Gotham Deserves, But Not The One It Needs Right NowThis penis will spend a lot of time in the ol' Bat Cave if you know what I mean.
- •The Penis of Christmas PastThis penis only appears once a year on Christmas, which, sometimes is kind of all you want from a penis.
- •The Hilarious PenisThis is the penis you should marry. I mean, if you're still single in heaven. Which, be honest, you probably are.