MORE THINGS OVERHEARD WHILE SUBSTITUTE TEACHING

They don't know that I hear Everything.
  1. "I hate this class. I hate this class twice a day."
    *insert smug face*
  2. "Do you know how many guys didn't cheat when Snapchat showed your top people you snap?"
    Because Snapchat is the only way to cheat.
  3. "I think Jeb Bush is going to win after the recount."
  4. "Ooh...your ear is soft..."
  5. "Do you have something you want to put in the 'in memoriam' envelope for Nopalmo?"
    Nopalmo was a balloon with a face drawn on it. They decided to kill his 'brother' while playing Mad World and put his remains in the envelope, which is now stapled to a bulletin board.