THINGS I CANNOT ADMIT TO MY MOTHER
As a single yo-pro living under my parents roof there are certain things you just can't share with your new/old roommates
- •I drink juice straight from the carton every single dayWhy would I waste precious time in the morning pouring juice into a cup?! I am just going to chug it anyway mom, so why waste eons of time and get a cup dirty. Use your brain mother. Just chug it from the carton.
- •I have not washed my sheets in 6 monthsLet's be honest, my germ filled body is the only one in this bed anyway so I'll spare myself the head cold I'm apparently going to contract.
- •That was my spoon in the sink, not dads"When will your father ever learn to put his damn spoons in the dishwasher!"
- •I did not sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor the other night....I SLEPT IN A BOYS BED MOM! ALERT THE MEDIA!
- •I took your headphonesYes, your new iPhone came with headphones. Yes, I took them and claimed they were mine. Sorry you didn't touch them in months and sorry I'm a lying daughter who is too poor to buy new ones for myself