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  1. Knowing all the worlds to "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw
  2. Crying openly while watching The Simpsons Movie in theaters
  3. Drinking more soda than water on a literal daily basis
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Little things that keep me going
  1. Waking up too early and realizing you still have time to sleep
  2. Leaving a party early
  3. Empty seat next to you on an airplane
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  1. huge, beautiful dorm rooms
    i mean honestly, i lived in a closet size room in a mold-infested building my freshman year
  2. lack of people crying while talking to their mom on the phone??
    i know for a fact that i'm not the only person who is still doing this (I hope?)
  3. people who look like adults
    celebrities really skewed my idea of what an actual college student looks like
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  1. Drunkenly making a grilled cheese
  2. Acne
  3. Falling out of a tree
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  1. Call me sweetie, darling, honey, etc
    I'm looking at you, middle-aged white men.
  2. Yell/cry about sports (particularly football)
    Is your team losing SO heartbreaking that it warrants an emotional response? Then don't come near me.
  3. Put an American flag in your truck bed.
    omg you're so masculine and patriotic!!!!!! plz give me some more indications of those very important qualities!!
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  1. Overdosing on Flintstone Gummy Vitamins.
Google is my best friend
  1. Fuckboy: Urban Dictionary Definition
    Just tryna stay with it.
  2. Barack Obama Shirtless
    Clearly the most important search I've ever made.
  3. Litigar Strangulation
    No comment.
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  1. Thrift Shop - Macklemore
    what what... what what
  2. A Mili - Lil Wayne
    When did I take the time to learn this?
  3. Love the Way You Lie - Eminem ft. Rihanna
    Just horrible.
Part of a trifecta with @mcmcnett and @car_lay96
  1. Golden Ticket
    Written by @mindy - Michael in a Willy Wonka costume, the KGB bit, Kevin asking for dating advice. It's all perfect
  2. Dinner Party
    Written by Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky. 🎶 That one night (one night) you made everything alright 🎶
  3. The Dundies
    Written by @mindy - Ryan's reaction to winning "Hottest in the Office." Jim asking Michael to refrain from giving Pam "Longest Engagement." And of course, "I feel God in this Chili's tonight"
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It's too late for me.
  1. How to work a lawn mower.
    You pull something.. But what? And how do I turn it off? How do I know when to empty it? Do you even empty a lawn mower? Send help please.
  2. Subsidies.
    I have no fucking clue what these are no matter how many times they're explained to me.
  3. How to fold a fitted sheet.
    You mean there's a way besides crumpling it up and forgetting about it?
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