There's nothing wrong with "sexy ____" costumes. They're just not right for me. Here are some things that are:
  1. Ice cream cone. I've had this ice cream cone costume since 6th grade and I've worn it many times. I was once told I looked like "a pedophile ice cream truck driver" in it but I think it's a pretty fun outfit
  2. Emperor Kuzco- ah, the star of my favorite Disney movie. I would love to dress up in a red robe and fancy yellow hat like him and spend the whole night screaming "you threw off my groove!" This would be the night of my dreams, actually
  3. A frog. I played Frog in Frog and Toad for my middle school's play. As you can imagine, this lead role was a pretty defining moment in my life. I still have the green leggings and frog hat that I wore for the play, and wearing them again would bring back nostalgic memories of stardom
  4. Any one of Jim Halpert's effortless costumes, like 3 hole punch. Of course, I'd have to give Jim credit because he did if first, but this could make me seem cool and witty if I could stop myself from emphasizing how cool and witty I was for wearing it
  5. Ice cream sundae. My sister wore an ice cream sundae costume the same year I first wore my ice cream cone. It has a chocolate fondue stain on the front that never came out, but it's a variation of my go-to costume and comes with a cherry hat. It's pretty great
  6. Arthur. His show helped shape my childhood, so why not pay tribute to him? He deserves it after all the time I spent trying to figure out what animals he and some of his more obscure friends were
  7. The list app. People have dressed up as iPhones and as different apps, but this one is new, so it would be pretty clever of me, right?