#MARCHMADNESS: A LIST OF THINGS I'M MAD ABOUT

My bracket is busted, so I'm going to take this hashtag opportunity to post all of the things I'm actively mad about. Please pray for me. #MarchMadness
  1. Mad that Charlie Puth makes more money than me #MarchMadness
  2. Mad that Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen look like sad aliens now #MarchMadness
  3. Mad that people assume Helen Keller is real without seeing any evidence #wakeup #MarchMadness
  4. Mad that I spent months binge watching Lost and received no closure #MarchMadness
  5. Mad that Amy Poehler has never won an Emmy #MarchMadness
  6. Mad that Pedro Martinez threw down Don Zimmer in 2004 #MarchMadness
  7. Mad that the movie Antz is less popular than A Bug's Life #MarchMadness
  8. Mad that portion sizes have increased while my self control has decreased #MarchMadness
  9. Mad that my butt crack peeked out of my low rise jeans from '03-05 #MarchMadness
  10. Mad that the clown from Air Bud didn't drown with his truck #MarchMadness
  11. Mad that they ever tried to make Rachel and Joey a thing #MarchMadness
  12. Mad that Mo'ne Davis got so much attention for playing a boy's game while the Little League Softball World Series went un-acknowledged #MarchMadness
  13. Mad that I didn't die before the phrase "Hulk Hogan sex tape" became a reality #MarchMadness