reasons to not swim in the ocean during a tropical storm

  1. you will lose your most expensive GoPro with all of your past videos on it
    very sad
  2. you will almost/probably break a toe
  3. you will be pelted with rain to the point of assuming it's actually hailing
  4. the sand flying at your body will make you feel as if you're being sliced into a million pieces
  5. your bottoms will fall off at least once
    in front of 3 teenage boys and 3 adults along with everyone on their balconies
  6. you will inhale approximately one gallon of ocean water per 5 minutes of being in it
  7. you may or may not be swept up by the current and taken half a mile down the shore from your condo
  8. your hair will become so knotted that you will consider cutting it instead of brushing
  9. sand will be in every crevice of your body which will take at least 2 showers to remove
  10. you will assume you have a bloody nose every time a wave slams you into the water
    most likely will not actually have a bloody nose but your face will hurt
  11. the wind will push your board into your face/body so many times that the word bruise can be interchangeable for the word body
  12. at some point in this endeavor you will feel the desire for the waves to just suck you into the ocean for good so that you may never have to endure the pain/struggles of the horrible choice you made by going out there in the beginning or even life in general
    this may be more of a pro than con because life is hard and college is expensive