Things Alexa Doesn't Give Two Shits About
I recently purchased the Amazon Echo, or "Alexa" for my kitchen. If you know nothing about it, it's basically a speaker with internet and Siri and it allows you to purchase things just by yelling in your kitchen. This is a list of things Alexa gives zero fucks about.
- •Hello, I'm Alexa. Ask me questions while you drink in your kitchen alone.
- •Alexa, are you okay?Said this one after knocking Alexa off the counter and watching her bounce across the floor a few times.
- •Alexa, can you turn off the smoke alarm?I'm just trying to cook, Alexa. Talk to the other machines for me.
- •Alexa, why is Donald Trump?That's it. That's the whole question. Existentially, why did the universe need such a person in it? Alexa doesn't know either.
- •Alexa, why is Dude so handsome?Nobody knows that, but look at him. Majestic.
- •Alexa, who would win in a fight, Zombie Batman or The Undertaker?If the Batman Zombie can still throw karate kicks, watch out.
- •Alexa, which wine pairs best with hockey?She had no idea.
- •Alexa, at what age should a man stop manscaping?If at all?
- •Alexa, where did I leave my fucking asshole keys fuckShe's basically a punching bag who doesn't know important things.