MISCOMMUNICATIONS

  1. When I asked for a check at Le Pain Quotidien and they gave me a chocolate chip cookie instead
    And I was too embarrassed to tell them they'd gotten my order wrong so I just paid for it ($5).
  2. When an elderly woman on the street asked me what breed my dog was because she's legally blind and I said "Oh, I love that movie!"
  3. Everytime I've answered a question only to be met with a really blank expression and realized that I completely misheard what they were asking.
  4. Confidently confusing prostate and prostrate
    I was doing a group project that involved writing a story, and a girl suggested we should have one of the characters prostrate themselves. I laughed uncomfortably and said "I think you're confused about something". She assured me she wasn't and I said (verbatim) "Gianna.... the prostate is a gland inside the anus"
  5. Forgetting how to tailor jokes to an audience
    At dinner with my entire family, my mom asks: "How's your head?" (I had a cold) and I immediately respond "Haven't had any complaints". Next to my grandpa.