Simpsons quotes my husband and I love & use, which really make no sense out of context.

The Simpsons premiered when we were in college. We saved our change in a huge jar to buy a VCR so we could record episodes. Most of the quotes we use come from early seasons.
  1. "I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island." "What do they got there?" "Apes- But they're not so big."
    From one of the Halloween Episodes in an early season. The Halloween Episodes were my favorites. My husband pulled out this gem once when we were on a plane to the Solomon Islands. ❤️
  2. "I call the big one Bitey."
    Homer said this when Marge found a family of possoms in a compartment of the monorail. We say this when we find a big bug or come across a scary animal.
  3. "Slow down, Frenchy. This stuff is gold!"
    When Bart was looking for material to use in letters he was sending to his teacher, answering her personal ad. We use this one anytime someone says something memorable or profound.
  4. "Show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!"
    Just a good thing to say to God.
  5. "So...Do you like... Stuff?
    Ralph has a crush on Lisa after she gives him a pity Valentine. Good quote for awkward situations when you need to make small talk.
  6. "They got these big chewy pretzels here...(slurred speech)...FIVE DOLLARS!
    A drunken postcard Homer sent to Marge on his visit to the Duff brewery. Fun to say when you've been drinking.
  7. "Marge, you're a tool of the doghouse makers."
    Homer to Marge when she suggests he buy a doghouse instead of build one. Useful anytime one partner wants to buy something that the other partner thinks they could make instead. "You're a tool of the ______ makers!"
  8. "Employee of the Month isn't all hams and plaques."
    Sometimes in life ya gotta do things you don't wanna do. It ain't all hams & plaques.
  9. These last few quotes aren't really applicable to any particular situation. We just like to say them to each other and laugh.
  10. "Rod, Tod, This is God."
    Bart using his wireless microphone to mess with his gullible neighbors.
  11. "Dear Miss Hoover. You have Lyme disease."
    Ralph's letter to his teacher who is home with (you guessed it) Lyme disease.
  12. "Yeah, dogs like to bury old junk."
    Another Halloween Episode. Bart's Crusty the Clown doll is evil. But when they flip the switch to "good" he becomes their servant, walking the dog and sponge bathing Homer. :)
  13. "The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me."
    Same Halloween episode. No one knows why Homer is so scared of the doll until it attacks him in front of Marge.