FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS: 4/22 EDITION

Once again I sound so basic but I'm not...
  1. My Chop't salad wasn't chopped enough
    You have one job...
  2. My iced latte wasn't filled to the brim
  3. Coke came out of the vending machine instead of Diet a Coke
    THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ANYONE
  4. I got shoes resoled this morning and they were supposed to be ready by EOD
    Still haven't called
  5. On the bright side we had an ice cream cake delivered and for fun we made them write cum on it
    Yes, we're all 5 at the Cosmo HQ