HAVE I HIT SOCIAL ROCK BOTTOM? A LIST

A list of things I did to usher in Sept 2, 2015
  1. I drank wine out of a can
  2. I read an issue NYT magazine dated July 19
  3. I took a coach bus to Long Island and on it, sat next to a woman who refused to acknowledge my existence beyond the "unethically short shorts" on my person
  4. I listened to a podcast about animal grooming products
  5. I thought said podcast was about animal grooming products.
  6. I made my mom buy me ice cream
  7. I googled myself (twice)
  8. I got invited to a party being hosted by DHL (yes, the international mail service)
  9. I rsvpd yes
  10. I went