Parents Say the Darndest Things

The many things I hear people say to their beloved children
  1. "Don't nobody wanna hire nobody with no teeth."
    The kid asked for a piece of candy
  2. "Lucille, don't touch my fanny pack!"
    NEVER mess with a grown man's fanny pack, Lucille!
  3. "Honey, here's a quarter."
    It was to help her 9 year old daughter scratch a lottery ticket.
  4. "Don't make me get Elmo out!"
    I don't even want this clarified.
  5. "Keep moving forward, honey. Like a Toyota."
    The little girl was crying that she just lost her doll.