I WILL NOT:

  1. Watch scary movies.
    They give me nightmares. Hi, I'm 35.
  2. Drink diet soda.
    Not because it's unhealthy.....but because it makes me break out.
  3. Order boneless, skinless chicken breast in a restaurant.
    I don't care if it's sauced, sautéed, or otherwise gussied up. I'm not paying $14 for a dish that's centered around the saddest piece of meat in the culinary spectrum.
  4. Entertain the thought of wearing a romper.
    Unless you're 5'10" or taller, you're just going to look like an adult masquerading as a giant baby.