1. When I can't figure out what your personalized license plate is supposed to mean.
  2. The sheer volume of Sherman Williams paint stores there are.
    They're EVERYWHERE.
  3. The sheer lack of big-box office supply stores.
    Yes, I love Amazon as much as the next person. But there was always something about wasting 45 minutes looking at a wall of pens that I found oddly soothing.
  4. When people tell me to "Smile!"
    I'm sorry my normal resting face isn't cheerful enough for you. Would you like me to plaster a fake smile on my face? Trust me, you do not.
  5. When an item is on clearance...and the price reduction is only $1.
    I'm looking at you, Macy's.